Why Dating Reality Shows Became Fandom: Cheering for Someone Else's Romance

Dating reality shows are no longer programs where you just watch how someone's romance turns out. Viewers invest in the cast members' personalities and choices and wish, "I want this person to be happy." They talk about scenes that catch their eye on social media, give nicknames to couples who get together and follow each person's activities after the broadcast. This movement beyond the show closely resembles oshi-katsu, the practice of supporting an idol or actor.

What's interesting is that the shows aren't popular because every young person is eager about their own love life. Even people who don't see romance as essential to life are moved by someone agonizing, gathering courage and trying to build a relationship. "Falling in love yourself" and "cheering on someone else's love" are different pleasures.

Viewers care about more than whether a confession goes well. They also watch how someone tries to get to know a partner in a short time, how they treat their friends and the moment they overcome a lack of confidence. That's why the center of support moves from "the romance" to "the person" and viewers keep caring after the show ends.

Looking back at Japan's dating reality shows, Ainori, which began in 1999, was a major turning point. Men and women who had just met growing closer while traveling gave a thrill different from a scripted romance drama. Every week, viewers spent the run-up to the confession feeling as if they were traveling along with the participants.

In Terrace House in 2012, not only romance between housemates but also work, dreams, friendship and misunderstandings became part of the story. More than who ends up with whom, people wondered, "How will this cast member live from here on?" A way of following each individual, even after they left the show, took hold.

After that, viewing moved from TV to streaming services. Without waiting for a set broadcast time, people could watch on their phones whenever they liked, look up whatever caught their interest right away and write their impressions. With the show and social media side by side on one screen, viewers became not just people who receive a story but people who spread it.

This change turned "watching a show alone" into "getting excited at the same moment as others." The object of support also widened from the show as a whole to a favorite cast member, a couple and their later activities. The oshi-katsu in today's dating reality shows grew out of this change in how people watch.

A strength of streaming services is that they can line up many kinds of romance that a single TV program couldn't show: a short trip of high schoolers, adults meeting with marriage or remarriage in mind, shows born overseas, communal living among strong personalities. Across shows that differ in age, purpose and mood, you can now choose the world that suits you.

On ABEMA, series such as Today, I Fell in Love (Kyo, Suki ni Narimashita), which follows young cast members making their choices in a short time, keep running. Each new season brings new people, and earlier cast members sometimes return. Because the world goes on, viewers wait for "the next story" and for "what my oshi does next."

On a service like Netflix that reaches the world, Japanese shows are sometimes discovered through overseas rankings and social media. More people learn of one cast member through recommendations or a short video and then go on to watch the show. You can choose a show and then find your oshi, but you can also spot a person who catches your eye first and enter the show from there.

This number shows that oshi-katsu is not just for a few devoted fans but a culture that touches how many people spend their money and time. Dating reality is one of the ways in. From watching a show, support spreads to social media, events and the cast members' new work.

Cast members of dating reality shows exist beyond the broadcast. After appearing, their social media followings grow, and some move on to modeling, acting, TV work or video creation. Viewers take the personality they got to know on the show as a clue and follow their next challenges and growth for a long time.

When a couple forms, support widens from one person to two. As an "oshi couple" (oshi-kapu), they draw interest in their daily life and anniversaries, and their social media posts start to look like a continuation of the show. Some people quietly watch the romance, while others celebrate with comments and hashtags.

At real-life events, you can call out directly to cast members who had been on the screen, take photos and pick up merchandise. Here, "watching the show" turns into fan activity that gives your support a shape. For the makers, too, it opens the door to a long-lasting connection that broadcast counts and ads alone can't measure.

"Doing love," in which you build a relationship with someone yourself, brings not just joy but also the worry of being turned down or hurt. It has also become natural to value time with work, school and friends and not force romance to the top. It's probably not that people have no interest in love, but that more of them think about it from a distance that suits them.

"Watching love," by contrast, lets you enjoy the movement of feelings from a little way off. You draw energy from seeing someone take a step forward. You talk with friends about what you would do. You learn ways of thinking different from your own. Even if you're not in a romance yourself, you can take in a lot of feelings.

But what viewers want isn't only the feeling of having fallen in love. The joy lies in wishing, "I want this person to be happy," and "I hope the two of them work out." It means staying close not just to the result but to how someone changes. That feeling turns cast members and couples into an oshi.

Drama characters finish their story within the work, but the daily lives of dating reality cast members go on after the broadcast. That's why the feeling of "I want to keep watching what comes after" leads to following on social media and going to events. Because the story and real life are close, the support continues.

Dating reality and social media are now tightly linked. You find a cast member you're curious about through a short video, watch the show and post about the scene that stayed with you on the spot. People who see that post start watching, and new reactions follow. Moving back and forth between the show and social media, more and more people join in.

Trading reactions on social media turns your eyes beyond the result of the confession to facial expressions, choice of words and kindness to friends. Other people's posts sometimes reveal charms you hadn't noticed. Talking together means there is no longer a single way of watching the show, and the ways to enjoy it widen.

On the other hand, when only short scenes spread, a person can end up looking different from how they appeared over the course of the show. Social media is a way to find your oshi, but it can also become a place where harsh words gather around cast members. Stirring up excitement and avoiding the spread of misunderstanding have to be considered together.

Support is a great strength for cast members. But when feelings grow too strong, there is a risk of blaming their choices on the show, persistently digging into what happened in their romance afterward, or dragging in family and friends. A comment that is short from one person becomes thousands or tens of thousands of words for a cast member who has drawn attention.

Producers are expected to offer mental-health care that cast members can turn to not only during filming but after release, as well as help with social media. How to protect them when hateful words arrive should also be decided in advance. It is also important to tell them, before they appear, what could happen, and to let each person choose their next activities at their own pace.

Viewers can help too: don't decide everything about a person from the one side you saw on the show. Don't turn support for your oshi into attacks on other cast members. Don't go hunting for information the person hasn't made public. You can show you like someone while protecting their life.

For dating reality to be loved for a long time, the premise is to cherish cast members as individuals rather than competing only on strong scenes. A place where you can cheer with peace of mind does not weaken fans' feelings. On the contrary, it builds trust in the show and its cast members and sustains a long-lasting oshi-katsu.

What the three have in common is that viewers do not care only about "the result of the confession." They invest in personality and growth, talk with other fans and follow activities after the show. As that time piles up, a cast member becomes not a passing topic but someone people want to keep supporting.

That is why future shows need both the fun of fans taking part and a system that protects cast members. When viewers, cast members and makers can connect without strain, dating reality will grow not as a passing boom but as a new culture of support.